fidgeting four year olds
Just been to see Rataouille - is that how you spell it? - good film.
The kids are off school this week and since I'm finally earning a (poor) wage I figured I'd take my nieces as a treat. Plus of course I really really really wanted to see it lol
I had this lovely romantic idea of the kids first time in the cinema. You know, it is supposed to be a place of magic afterall. A large strange place, lights, colours, noises, and smells hitting you as you walk in - games machines to your left, food stalls to your right, giant posters dangling from the ceiling.
You get your popcorn, and it's not the shitty stuff you get in a bag, it's proper movie popcorn, get your drink, and then go into the dark room with a screen bigger than anything you've ever seen. It's dark every where but the screen; the sounds come from nowhere, everywhere; and up on the screen, bigger than life, the magic unfurls....
Of course, there are a few things I forgot.
My nieces can't sit still for more than five minutes. (6 and 4 yr olds)
Not only are 'my' kids off school, every kid is off school!
Kids are annoying.
The place was packed. I think I got the last tickets in fact (many baulked at the extra pound for the 'premium' seats, the meffs). But c'mon, loads of kids feeling the magic for the first time, it's gonna be sweet....
Nope.Loads of kids high as a kite on coke, M&M's, caramel popcorn, ice cream, jellies, chews, and all the other assorted over-priced junk we all love shovelling down our fat gobs when we go the cinema.
It started off all so well - there is a short at the beginning - Lifted - very funny, all the kids laughing, enjoying themselves. Then the film starts, and all of a sudden the ADD kicks in - my youngest neice thought the film was over already - and for the rest of the film - fidgeting four year olds.
Christ it was a nightmare - one would start crying, then another, all over the place. One kid was proper crying - not a whinge - full on tears, pained crying that only kids would, could, and bloody always do. Now, you would expect a normal parent to take the child outside, calm them down and bring them back. Not this fucker. Poor kid was crying for at least five minutes. I was so tempted to scream "take that fucking cunt out will ya!!!", but I think I would have lost the consensus of the room. Nope, suffered in fucking silence like always. Seriously, what is wrong with some people?
Anyways, it was not the magical experience I had hoped for, although the experience was better recieved by the six year old. The four year old, the one sat next to me, well, she fidgeted, she coughed, she squirmed, she kicked the seat in front, she yawned, she stole from my drink when I wasn't looking
- she ain't going again.
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