Football Songs

I am a Liverpool fan. Loved them all my life. My father, however, is an Evertonian. My brother is an Evertonian. My best mate is an Evertonian. So I have never been a Bitter Red. I don't mind Everton and the only time I really enjoy seeing them lose is obviously on derby day.
However, there are thousands upon thousands of Bitter Blues out there... (and Reds too)

This was sent to me a while back, I was going through my old emails, and it gave me a giggle - It’s sung on the terrace's (or at least I think it is) at Goodison Park and it's about Michael Shields. The song is based on the theme tune from Prisoner Cell Block H.

"He used to go to Anfield,

they wish he could again,

but that was on the outside, and

things were different then...

He went the match in Turkey,

with several of his friends...

and when the waiter copped it,

they said he was in bed...

On the inside the match is on,

and he watches in hope...

but shower time is different,

don’t bend over for the soap...

Last night he dreamed of Anfield,

of sitting in the stand...

seeing all the players,

of the club that got us banned...

On the inside the match is on,

and he watches in hope...

but shower time is different,

don’t bend over for the soap...

He used to go to Anfield,

they wish he could again,

but that was on the outside,

and things were different then..."

See what I mean? Anyway, it made me think of other songs…

Fields of Anfield Road
“Outside the Shankly Gates I heard a Kopite calling:

Shankly they have taken you away
But you left a great eleven

Before you went to heaven
Now it's glory round the Fields of Anfield Road.

(Chorus)
All round the Fields of Anfield Road
Where once we watched the King Kenny play (and he could play)
We had Heighway on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
Of the glory round the Fields of Anfield Road

Outside the Paisley Gates I heard a Kopite calling:

Paisley they have taken you away
You led the great 11

Back in Rome in 77
And the Red-men they are still playing the same way

(Chorus)
All round the Fields of Anfield Road
Where once we watched the King Kenny play (and he could play)
We had Heighway on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
Of the glory round the Fields of Anfield Road”

Poor Scouser Tommy
“Let me tell you the story of a poor boy,
Who was sent far away from his home,
To fight for his king and his country,
And also the old folks back home

So they put him in a higher division,
Sent him off to a far foreign land,
Where the flies swarm around in their thousands,
And there's nothing to see but the sand.

Now the battle it started next morning,
Under the radiant sun,
I remember our poor Scouser Tommy,
He was shot by an old Nazi gun

As he lay on the battlefield die-die-dying,
With the blood gushing out of his head (out of his head)
As he lay on the battlefield die-die-dying,
These were the last words he said:

Oooooh, I am a Liverpudlian,
and I come from the Spion Kop,
I like to sing, I like to chant,
I go there quite a lot.
Support a team, that plays in red,
A team that we all know,
A team that we call LIVERPOOL,
To glory we will go.

We won the league, we won the cup,
We've been to Europe too,
We played the Toffees for a laugh,
And left them feeling blue (5-0)
1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 5-0!
Rush scored one,
Rush scored two,
Rush scored three,
And Rush scored four...”

My good friend, Kev Walsh’s band - Down And Outs – do a good Punk cover of this. You can listen to it by clicking the link. There are four songs on there, give the others a listen too…

If you want to see what other football songs are out there, you can check out http://home.wanadoo.nl/maarten.geluk/ which has quite a few clubs represented from home & abroad. It’s amazing how many teams use the same songs over and over.

I have added a couple more here. There are loads of very offensive ones which, although amusing I have decided not to include. Plus you can also check out the sheer hatred between Celtic & Rangers fans on the above link.

(Liverpool)

"There was a local derby, not too long ago,
The Everton fans were singing "Howard Kendall he must go".
But then he won a trophy, and he was Everton’s pride...
You two-faced Everton bastards you're the shite of Merseyside...
Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

There was a local derby, not too long ago,
The Everton fans were singing all the songs that they know.
Just when Kenny scored a brilliant goal, they said is was off side...
But we don't care cos' they scored none and we scored fucking five...
Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

There was a local derby, not too long ago,
The Everton fans were singing "David Moyes he must go".
But then he finished in fourth, and he was Everton’s pride...
You two-faced Everton bastards you're the shite of Merseyside...
Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha..."

(Arsenal)

"Who's that team they call the Arsenal?

Who's that team we all adore?

They're the boys in red and white,

And where fucking dynomite,

'cos Georgy Grahams mother is a whooore,

yeah she's a whore, yeah she's a whooore"

(Arsenal again)

"She wore She wore

She wore fishnet stockings

She wore fishnet stockings and stillettoes on her feet

And when I asked just why she wore those stockings

She said it's for my client and his name is David Pleat David Pleat, David Pleat,

He's the famous Tottenham pervert And his name is David Pleat..."

(Aston Villa)

"Can you hear the Cockneys singing?

No, No!

Can you hear the Cockneys singing?

No, No!

Can you hear the Cockneys singing?

I can't hear a fucking thing!"

(Tranmere Rovers)

"We're not scousers

We're From Birkenhead

So you can fuck your cathedrals

and shove your Pier Head!"

(Sunderland)

"There's only one senile bastard

one senile bastard

with his pension book and his zimmer frame

Bobby Robsons pissed himself again"

(Newcastle United)

"I know a makem takem, he lives along the way,

I know he is a makem, he's big and fat and gay,

and every time I see him, he makes me want to spew,

he's just a mekem takem, from Division two,

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah......"

Just like to add that all the Man U songs were shite. No surprises there then.

Have a nice day :)

Vanessa Kay

Vanessa Kay

One final posting from my random perusals...

Yes she is hot. Yes I am pathetic for pandering to my base instincts by showing her. Yes there are far more intersting and relevant blogs out there. Yes she won't give a second thought to some schmo in Liverpool giving her blog a mention.

But who cares, she is piece of attractive meat and we can stare at her all day boys!!! ;)

Yamila Diaz-Rahi

Yamila Diaz-Rahi

As you can see, I have given this blog the distinction of being one of my links. It is enough to brighten the darkest day.

Good work all round!!! :)

Scum-Sucking Skanks Update

Big thanks to all the guys who emailed and texted me over this post. But please, post a comment will ya - this blog looks like no one reads it ever!!!

We found - well, when I say we, I mean the police - found the car two laters burnt out.

So no horrible deaths for the thiefs then, sadly.

My only hope is that Death is stalking them right now, and that they are no good at chess, battleships, twister, or that weird American football game.

It hasnt been the greatest of weeks, what with the car being stolen, my tasks in work becoming ever more dull & uninspiring, failing to win the Lottery on Wednesday, watching Middlesborough FC's luck finally run out at the last hurdle, failing to win the Euro Lottery on Friday...

But all that changed yesterday with the one-two of two unlikely victories.

1. Liverpool coming back at the death to win the FA Cup for the 7th time and further establish themselves and England's most successful club (how do you like them apples, Man U & Chelsea).
2. Ricky Hatton coming back from one of the worst fights of his career to somehow snatch victory and become a two-weight champion.

All in all a great day for sport. Although once again, I failed to win the Lottery.

Can't win em all I guess.

Super Models

Super Models

Clicking the 'Next Blog>>' tab on the NavBar normally just serves up the usual Anti-Bush pap and far too many non-English blogs that I cannot understand. So Good Work Fellas goes out to this blog.

I have also added another one to my links on the right, so if you're bored of my ramblings, check it out ;)

THIS LINK IS NOT CURRENTLY WORKING - WILL KEEP AN EYE ON IT AND DELETE THE BLOG IF NEED BE

2006 FA Challenge Cup Winners - LIVERPOOL

Scum-Sucking Skanks

My mother’s car was stolen today.
She left it in a ‘secure’ high rise car park whilst she went shopping. Shopping for less than one hour. This ‘secure’ car park has security guards. Security guards that were on a brake. A brake at 9.30am. This ‘secure’ car park has security cameras. These security cameras were “not working” today. Kinda makes you ask what’s the fucking point of having a ‘secure’ car park? May as well park it on a patch of grass.

The day was already shitty. Raining all day – and humid as fuck. I’m roasting as I write this. I’ve had a long day – training; a soul-sucking train journey home; a twenty minute wait for a every-10-minutes bus.

No matter how pissed off and shitty I feel I feel worse for my mum. That car was vital for her. She used it to ferry all us lazy swines to work. She also looks after her two grand daughters (aged 4 & 2). That car was essential.

There was a baby seat in the car. What kind of rat bastard steals a fucking car in a place of shopping with a baby seat in it? Can’t they fucking fathom that the owner of the car probably has a baby with them?

My one hope is that whoever that little shit is that stole the car, my one hope is - He Gets Cancer. And then his immediate family gets cancer. Swiftly followed by his extended family. And I hope his Friends Get Cancer. And then their immediate families. Swiftly followed by their extended families.

My-Name-Is-Earl promotes the idea of karma – do good things and good things happen to you. Well my mother is a fucking saint – and this is fucked.

I know I will not get my cancer wish. God isn’t cool like that. The little bastards will probably never be caught. It does though make me feel better, wishing horrors upon them –

Racing in car, crashes into a lamppost, get trapped, and burns slowly to death
Get bum raped by an aids victim
Nob Rot
Nervous breakdown – institutionalised – years of electric shop therapy – night after night getting bum raped by Aids inflicted mongoloids.

I lied; it does not make me feel better. Christ, what makes it worse is that this is not the first family to get robbed and it certainly won’t be the last. All this talk of the immigrants-&-asylum-seekers in this country… our own scum are far worse.

Here’s a solution – we can not deport the majority of the asylum seekers because of the human rights issues in their natural countries – so let’s create our own issues. Every car robber, every house robber, every thief cut their fucking hands off. If there are extenuating circumstances…Tough! You should have spoken to someone about it. There are enough fucking charities and help groups out there. No. Cut their fucking hands off. Repeat offenders? Cut their fucking children’s hands off. And then it won’t be such a fucking paradise for all those poor souls that brave starvation, dehydration, drowning, suffocation, etc etc to come to this country and be hated, vilified, and sent back.

Ha ha, slipping into right-wing mode there aren’t I?

There must be some joyous events occurring in my life at the moment. Isn’t there? Let’s see…

Went round to a friends over the weekend – drank my weight in lager (or at least if felt that way). That was enjoyable.

Part of that training today was the dreaded ice breaker. Tell the group ‘something that you enjoy’. God I hate that – always feel under pressure to have something amazing. Something that screams, Neil is having a good fucking time all the fucking time! Boy oh Boy, that Neil, looovvvvveeeees to Par-te! And yet, I can never think of anything.

I like the small things. Really pointless boring things. Sorting out my music on itunes. Sounds really dull and nerdish (fuck you man, if it’s good enough for John-Cusack!) but it chills me out. It’s nice and relaxing. Obviously I’m playing the tunes as I do it, singing along and such (currently playing – This is The One, The-Stone-Roses). And if it wasn’t for my bleeding crap PC screwing the files up every five minutes (I have no idea why, but this fella has had the same problems it seems) I wouldn’t have to do it.

One of my faves is going to work in the morning. Work has nothing to do with it though. Getting the station in the morning before the train arrives, looking at the same faces. Now, let’s be honest. When I say faces, I mean women, and when I say women, I mean beautiful women. Obviously I am too much of a shit bag to do/say anything, but it relaxes me knowing they are there. I know it’s sad, pathetic, acting like a perving loser. But it’s me and I like me!

Ah, the relaxing tones of Paul-Weller (Moon On Your Pyjamas, Wild Wood). I have itunes on shuffle. Trying to get a good accidental play list going. I had a couple of crackers – late 60/early 70’s rock, 80’s/early 90’s rock, late 90’s/00’s rock. Some great tunes. But thanks to the files constantly moving from folders, and the iPod’s annoying inability to store songs independently, they were all wiped when I recharged. I love my iPod – it’s a Godsend on that train each day – but it could be improved quite a lot.

Anyway, my anger is still there so I’m off to play Here-Comes-The-Pain on the Playstation 2. Think I’ll go Goldberg. He’s a hard bastard!

Guess this is the first ‘proper’ post on this blog – it feels like a journal. Hope I ain’t bored ya.