Since I have been out of work I have been limiting myself to certain areas of work – mainly Liverpool City Centre. As I don’t drive, this is the most logical and easiest place to travel to – it’s just a train ride away. Plus it has other benefits, such as various drinking and eating establishments for after hours play. Concentrating on area alone, during this time, I have never once sat down and thought long and hard about what exactly it is that I want to.

What is my ‘plan’?

What are my career goals?

In truth, I have absolutely no idea.

I fell into the call centre industry by accident. I was on the dole, the writing and the film-making was going nowhere and I was thrown on to a ‘course’. Sit in a room for two weeks whilst someone less intelligent, and possibly marginally only slightly more motivated than you, tries to convince you that working for beneath minimum wage is exciting and rewarding. It was on this course that I was ‘made’ to go for an interview at Vertex. Made is the correct term here. One look in the paper, and the woman was on the phone arranging an interview for that very day. Several hours later, after a swift wash, change, and pointless exercise with headphones (the test was on New York and you had to listen for answers - I knew the answers already, I could have been deaf for all they knew), I was employed as a Customer Service Advisor.

For the first several weeks I wouldn’t speak to anyone ha ha. I despised that place with all my heart. I would try and console myself with the fact that with the money I was now earning, I could increase the budget for the next film me and my partners would make. This consoling couldn’t mask the fact that creatively, after the second week in there, I was dead. But, my team manager saw something in me, took the risk, and soon I was a Team Coach on my way to being a Team Manager.

This being my first proper job (lazy student for many blissful years), I was intrigued by the notion. I always aim low. Take the easy route out. Here, with no discernable career paths, choices, or clues, I was being presented with a possible (albeit awful and worthless) career. And I took it.

In truth, I talk about it being awful and worthless, but there has been some good times over the past five years. I played a major part in developing others and aiding them step up the career ladder. It may not have been my career choice, but who’s to say it wasn’t there’s. I also met and made a lot of pretty brilliant mates over the course of this time. But it has always been nothing more than a job to me. It has never truly grabbed me.

And yet, it is all I know. Sure I have developed and nurtured several transposable skills and abilities, but I cannot recognise them. I know how to be a team manager in a call centre. So I look for those type of jobs. In Liverpool city centre. Hence why I haven’t worked a single day of 2007. There are no team manager jobs in Liverpool City Centre – they are all in places like Speke, Warrington, Runcorn – miles away. Guess I should have learned to drive.

But this week I sat down and I thought about my career path and my goals and what exactly it is that I want to do with myself. I am 30 now. The time is running out. I have one more, two if I’m lucky, major career change left. I wasted my twenties chasing dreams and then getting bogged down listening to whining customers, and then whining agents.

So I did an online career aptitude test. On http://www.livecareer.com/home.asp

I decided that if I didn’t have a clue, then maybe something like this would help me. Some of the results surprised me.

It splits the test into four key areas – Interests, Values, Personality and Knowledge Skills and Abilities.

The top three industries that apparently suit me are:

1/ 99% Writing - Enjoys either creative or technical writing. Likely to have broad interests.

2/ 96% Teaching/Social Services - Enjoys instructing people in learning new things, helping people solve problems, and assisting others.

3/ 74% Personal Services - Likes interacting with others and providing the public with services involving personal contact.

My main work style is
Persuasive - Enjoys work which involves influencing, advising, counseling, guiding, motivating, or directing the activities of others.
closely followed by,
Systematic - Prefers jobs that involve routine but challenging assignments in which order and persistent, steady effort are required. Likes job security to be established, and dislikes frequent changes in schedule and situations requiring quick decisions.

Ok so some information to take stock of there. I’ve been writing since, well I can remember. Although, I lack the discipline to sit there and write for prolonged periods of time. In fact, my word play has now been reduced to blogs like this and daft comments/emails.

The teaching/social services surprised me. I had considered teaching a long time ago in college. But the course cost money and I failed my first and only test at that career choice. I decided the money was best spent elsewhere and put to bed the idea of teaching. Social Services I have never given a second thought to. But then I look back on this blog, and the main joy that I picked out from being a team manager was the development of others. So it does start to make sense. Despite my protestations that I’m useless in social situations, I do have a knack with people (ha ha mainly the attractive female ones, but hey, they people too)

Funnily enough, one of the lowest placed interests was Sales. These are the only jobs I am ever offered. I loathe sales. I am not cut out for it. I'm too nice.

I have shed a little light on the possibilities open to me, but it still is only a little light. I think I was hoping I would fill out the questionnaire, it would jumble it’s answers (some sound effects would have been nice), and then it would have named the job I should be doing. I was so sure of this, I sat there, fingers crossed pleading that the answer would not be Team Manager.

So now, at the end, what conclusions do I have? Well, not many. I am still unsure of what career is out there for me. But now, I know roughly the areas I could be looking into.

Which is a good thing.

On this day, 21st July 1969, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.

I was watching Peggy Sue Got Married and she said it was the 20th (guess it's a time difference thing). I thought wow, biggest date in mankind's history and I didn't even know.

So either that was a nice coincidence, or there's a very canny planning producer at Channel Five lol

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Both, I hate eye contact. But probably the latter, someone opening up and being honest is really hard to do, and I'd be scared in case I not nervous and laughed right in there face,

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. Why were you angry?

I am a bitter gentleman by nature, so even the slightest things can make me angry - I suppose it's whenever I'm stupid enough to kick something when I have no shoes on. Stubbing your toe is a painful horrible experience. Much profanity follows.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Which do you choose?

Love - trust is overrated and always lets you down. No one writes poems and songs about trust.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save it?

Which canal is it? what kind of dog? why would the dog be in the canal? Is my work next to a canal? Am I walking my usual route? Ooh, feels like Bladerunner this bit.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her?

Fuck no. I just live with the guilt till it builds up and kills me. Nah, I hope I would never cheat, if I did I'd be a scumbag and deserve everything I got.

8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?

It depends what hour I would be giving them. If it was just an extra hour to live then fuck no, he went out in terrible pain, why prolong that? If it was his happiest memory and he could go back to that, yes, in a heartbeat. Of course if I did that and then no one did it to my upon my death, the afterlife would have one bitter whining Neil Soul to contend with.

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

nah, I'm a prick. Too much hard work

10. Does love = sex?

sex is an awesome bonus of love. but thankfully, they are not mutually exclusive

11. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?

Fuck no. It's like Christmas time when all the cretins come out wanting time off because they have kids. I don't, doesn't mean I want to fucking work your shift . I love Christmas.
There's no I in team, but there's a Me, and I like me.

12. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you feel?

years ago and it backfired. so won't be doing that again lol

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

both are hard for different reasons. It all boils down to laughter, telling someone you love them is a good thing so a little joyous laugh would be welcome, however....

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why ?

my complete lack of motivation. I know its holding me back, but in a cunning twist, it's the very lack of motivation that prevents me doing anything to change. It's a conundrum I have to live with I'm afraid

15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?

They are not words easily said, no matter how much you may want to.

17. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?

Well I wouldn't have left the scene after that boy died.... oh wait oops. Lol just kidding. erm, Jenni with an I.

18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

The BFG rather than his uglier vicious companions. Now, I know I'm not a child and therefore off the menu. However, if one were not to picky, they could rip my limbs off, thus creating child-size snacks. Oh yeah I want the BFG with his magic blowpipe full of dreams...

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?

No. he's homeless. His life is shite. why prolong it?

20. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?

ha ha both. The grandmother, well she had a good innings. The baby, it could be the next Hitler, can we afford to take the chance? Plus I'm weak and no doubt holding both would result in my sliding ever closer to the edge. Whilst pondering not only the result but actually how I did come to find myself in this particular predicament, I could lose focus and fall with them.

21. Are you old fashioned?

Yes and No

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?

true love every time. You can listen to great tunes when you're at the height of love, sing to the rooftops etc, and when the bitch breaks your heart, there are a million songs to cry to.

23. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?

I would wish for a typewriter that bypassed the hands and just accepted my writing from my brain.... think there was one in a Stephen King book. That one was probably evil. Not for me, I want a good one.